he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize