So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize