a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
