Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
