I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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