Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Say something about gay babies.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
