I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
