So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
