I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
