it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
