I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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