***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize