its not stalking. its research.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
