White coat. Heels.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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