Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
