just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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