I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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