We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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