Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
