were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
