I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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