I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
