I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
