i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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