I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
