i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
