I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
