If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I touched a dick in church today
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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