hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize