I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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