I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had to cum in my sink.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
