pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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