"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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