just come out here and I will go home with you...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So vagazzling was a success
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
