I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
