There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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