We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
