I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize