Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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