check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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