the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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