Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
