apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
