Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
