I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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