There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
