Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
birth control should be required to get into college
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
