she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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