There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
