so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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