His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize