How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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