Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
