her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your cock deserves a montage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
